My Imaginary Restaurant

I was driving home today after a relatively somber and mellow lunch. I stopped by Sierra Madre, a tiny hillside community up in the San Gabriel Mountains, just north of the 210 freeway. I had heard about a good coffee shop in the area called Bean Town, where I got a cup of dark brew and walked around the quiet streets. While I was walking around, I was wondering what it would be like to own a restaurant in this sort of place. Sierra Madre feels like a strange lift out of small town America. It probably couldn't support a high-concept, high end restaurant like the one I'm planning, but I'm wondering if the town where El Bulli is located has much more than that restaurant. Or the Fat Duck, or even Yountville, where The French Laundry rules.

Anyways, the whole drive home, after the caffeine kicked in, I thought about what my ideal, imaginary restaurant would look like.

First off, I would want a restaurant in the shape of Hatfield's, but a little bit larger. Hatfield's is pretty diminuitive, with one main dining room about 800 square feet and a side patio that's covered that fits another 16-20 diners in about 700 square feet. The kitchen is probably another 600-700 square feet. I would probably want a space that's a tad larger, maybe 2000 square feet. I would hope that rent in a far off location wouldn't exceed $3.00 a square foot, so monthly rent would be $6,000. There goes the largest part of the overhead.

Next, target market. This is tough because the locals probably wouldn't initially catch on this type of concept, but I know that generally the area has a lot of educated people. In addition, Sierra Madre is a stone's throw from San Marino and Pasadena, affording a larger community of wealthy, educated people that probably know their food. Lastly, I would cater and market to what I call the cutting edge adventurous foodie. Think of what Michael Carlson is doing in Chicago with Schwa and you'll get a basic idea of what I want to do.

Next, the food and concept. First, I would have a very simple menu. 10 items. 3 appetizers, 4 entrees, and 3 desserts. Apps would range from $12-15, entrees from $25-30, and desserts at $10 even. Sans wine and tip, food cost would be around $55. And since I love bargains, I would have a 6 course tasting menu (with smaller portions, obviously) for $69.

Concept would be market-driven and eventually garden driven, a la Blue Hill in NYC. The menu would change monthly and hone in on a particular cuisine or style. One month would be flecks of Austrian. Another would be Korean. The next month would be classic and/or nouvelle French. Then Southern Thai, with guest cheffing from Jitlada's chef. Mind you, these aren't complete changes but slight changes in approach, flavor, seasoning, etc. Overall it would adapt to the current edge where New American meets Avant Garde. Not too much on either side.

Plating wouldn't be too small or fussy, but definitely beautiful. I love the plate as a canvas, with effective, relevant pieces that overwhelm or confuse the palate. I don't want more than 5-6 elements to a dish. Flavors should be focused, intense, unique, or revolutionary. I love reading Grant Achatz's tweets because you can see how his mind works in pulling distinct flavors from common ingredients. Recently he tried (successfully) extracting the intense flavor of a spicy chili without having the direct heat. Pretty amazing.

That said, I wouldn't want to have dishes that require more than a minute to explain. One main element, two or three side elements, and a sauce or two, with a garnish. Hatfield's did this quite nicely.

Wine program - simple. I would have to pluck Matthew Kaner from his position at Manager of Silver Lake Wine. I think he has an extremely genial personality and knows how to pair wines with food. He was even offered the position of sommelier at a top LA restaurant but turned it down because he though the gig at SLW was a better one. I would agree with him, but I would have to lure him and sell him on the concept and worldwide notoriety.

6 wines by the glass, 12 bottles, or option wine pairing for an additional $30 if you get the tasting menu. I know Kaner would be able to feature some of the best, but unknown wines from CA and even the Old World. I would want the wine program to be top notch despite the limitation. In each month's selection (meaning the wine selection would change monthly), I would offer at least 1 vintage year wine for a moderate price. That way the connoisseurs will be happy. Also, I would offer free corkage if at least one bottle was purchased from the wine list.

Cocktail program - also pretty simple. Offer 3 cocktails a week or the option of bartender's choice. Marcos Tello would be my ideal candidate since I've seen that he has an uncanny ability to tailor drinks to one's mood and preference. 3 market-driven cocktails a week, and one of them would be offered complimentary if a tasting menu was ordered. They would only cost $10 if purchased separately.

Pastries - Hire one damn good pastry chef and let him fly with three desserts a week. Let he or she go buck wild with flavors, methods, preparations, and ingredients. Dessert must be stellar, because it's the last thing one eats at the end of the meal.

Layout - This setup requires a large, more square room than a thin shoebox line one at Hatfield's. I generally do not like banquettes because one person ends up having the view of the wall. I'd rather have square four-tops (four people to a table) along the wall, averted diagonally. This isn't as space efficient as lining them perpendicular to the wall, but I'd rather have slightly smaller tables and have slightly larger, more comfortable chairs. In the middle I would line tables parallel like Animal (who does this out of necessity) and have two rows so servers and bussers could move through with efficiency. The bar would be along the back wall.

Service - this is a tough one, but I don't think you have to hire a platoon of servers for a moderate restaurant. Hire the best and let them do their job. Two bussers to clear tables and set them. One captain to manage front of house. A smooth operation, nothing invasive. Professional, suave, knowledgeable.

Kitchen Staff - Hire the best from the culinary schools and breed your own talent. Work them hard, pay them well, give them a chance to move up. You'll have attrition since the kids will probably move on, but I would offer a longterm opportunity. Stay for a year, get health benefits, etc. If my friend Daniel Kim's up for the job, I'll hire him as Chef De Cuisine and let him manage the kitchen. I think generally he would vibe with my concept.

Decor - simple and highly contingent on local art. Leave the walls blank and offer a very talented local artist to fill it. It changes monthly with the cuisine.

Location - a place like Sierra Madre. I'd rather own the building than lease it, but I figure a restaurant isn't the best property manager. Offer to the landlord that TI's wouldn't required if the rent didn't step up more than CPI every year. Eventually buy the building if it's cash flowing well enough.

How it will make money - a steady, devoted clienele who knows what they're in for, are willing to pay a tad more for quality (but not break the bank like they would at a central city high-end restaurant), and ensure that the reservation line keeps ringing with major local and national news sources directing business to the restaurant. That doesn't come easy, but I wonder how many restaurants in the city reach this high up. Also, food costs are reduced since the menu isn't as varied. Margins should be steady from the unique, but well-priced list. I'll sell customers on that fact that the wines will surely dazzle or else they won't have to pay for it on their next visit (not a cash cow proposition, but it could work). Also, only be open Tuesday through Saturday. I think most serious diners wouldn't eat Sunday and Monday anyways. Once a month, offer a Monday Supper that offers a 4 course (including wine) meal for $50. Clean out the kitchen, clean out the wine, start over for the next month.

Basic budget and proforma:

I figure costs to open a restaurant are pretty staggering, with profit and decent return not seen for at least 3-5 years. I figure the initial lease and setup (with decor and purchase of furniture, equipment, supplies, and licensing) will cost $750,000. Remember, decor will be pretty sparse, furniture will be functional, and lease will be low. I'll put the most money in the kitchen equipment, buying used or leasing that stuff too.

Monthly income: 80 covers a night (tues-thurs, 70 covers; fri-sat 95 covers), $80 per average check, $128,000 gross revenue
Monthly overhead and fixed costs (utilities, rent, taxes, etc): $15,000
Monthly variable costs (labor, food, drinks, wine): Labor: 10 kitchen, 8 servers, 1 captain, 2 bussers, 3 dishwashers/janitor - $50,000. Food: $40,000. Marketing & Administrative: $5,000

Net monthly income: $18,000
Annual income $216,000
Payback on initial investment: 3.5 years (might be slightly optimistic)


You might look at this and say "70 covers a night for weeknights? Good luck!" To that I say, you have 50 seats. Fill 'em up at 7, have at least another 20 afterwards. I think that's completely doable. 95 on weeknights would be conservative. I'll be open until at least 11 on weekends.

Ok, lastly? What are some of the intangibles. You guys will have to help me with this.

Neighborhood: I like Montrose, Sierra Madre, La Canada, parts of Glendale, and even Altadena. Decent freeway access, not to removed from LA. Bashan in North Glendale seems to be doing okay, though that's much more modest in terms of size. They're probably the best restaurant north of Palate in these parts. As for Pasadena, the only culinary heavy hitters are Bistro 45, Derek's, Dining Room at the Langham (fully supported by its top-tier hotel), and maybe The Raymond. How do you draw interested diners from faraway distances like LA? Be open until past 10 on weeknights. Too many restaurants close early in my opinions. Diners in LA are willing to drive if the place warrants the trip.

Name: I like Q.P.S., named after a favorite cocktail "Queens Park Swizzle" that we've had at The Varnish.

By the way, this is a QPS:



I also like Caracole, meaning snail in spanish and also a famous military tactic used to battle lancers in the 1600.

Also, chancelet. It sounds like chance (like give us a chance), but it's also also smaller, like "-let". So give us a chancelet :)

or bananafish. it strikes of whimsy. maybe it's too ridiculous.